I am a hopeless romantic divorced mom of two. And while I enjoy being a Super Mama, the single part has definitely been challenging.
I have never been a “shy girl” until after my divorce. Navigating the dating scene is not for the faint of heart. I’ve read many articles that encourage you to “Get out there!” but that strategy hasn’t been very effective for me.
I have come up with a dating plan to navigate the biggest dating faux pas post-divorce.
1.) Get up and Get out! | You should recover and spend time with yourself after a divorce. Don’t get overly comfortable with the thought of being alone. Instead you should join a few online dating sites. Warning: It’s a whole new world, you’ve been warned. What I enjoy most about online dating is the control I have over deciding who I invest my time and energy into.
2.) Be Confident | Confidence is sexy! Hold your head high, develop your SJP stride and own your new body. *assuming you have children* After having children, some women inherit “imperfections” they never had before, such as, saggy boobs, stretch marks and a few extra pounds. So instead of focusing on the negative parts, extenuate the positives. Join a gym and improve the areas of your body you disapprove.
3.) Just me and you boo! | Don’t get attached too quickly. Date many people to see which one works best for you. This will allow you to compare and contrast to see who rises to the top. Monogamy should be introduced in a committed relationship not a forced one. Also don’t get your feelings hurt. Discuss your relationship status with your partner before you assume you’re together.
4.) No Boom-Boom | Sex confuses things. Don’t get into bed unless you have a mutual understanding of what is taking place, i.e. booty call, one night stand, cuffing season, etc. The right one will wait for you.
5.) Don’t introduce your children too soon | Time is the best measure of knowing when to introduce your children. Most men will view the introduction of children as a BIG step. You must talk to your partner and exclusively agree when the time is right for meeting the children. Gauge your children and see if this is the right time for them as well. Keep your children’s interests first.
What I know for sure is “we” are not alone. There are approximately 10 million single moms in the United States, we’re in pretty good odds for love to find us.